tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78237324429815560212024-03-13T23:15:55.244-04:00somnibuslaney2217http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919124584503064436noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7823732442981556021.post-40678083224468529982022-12-18T17:50:00.003-05:002022-12-18T17:50:24.125-05:00xo<p> He was better than you. So much better than you.</p><p><br /></p><p>He loved. He really loved.</p><p><br /></p><p>And he loved me.</p><p><br /></p><p>He was so much better than you.</p><p><br /></p><p>and he was a cat.</p><p><br /></p><p>I don't know how long it will take before this fades - but at least someone really loved me for me one time and he was a cat. </p>laney2217http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919124584503064436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7823732442981556021.post-14831059517134170752019-04-22T20:05:00.001-04:002019-04-22T20:05:25.178-04:00days there are days when the ache becomes <br />
a thing<br />
I can touch<br />
that I'm drowning in<br />
that is pulling me under<br />
and only dreams <br />
only dreams laney2217http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919124584503064436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7823732442981556021.post-86018969633275899092018-08-06T12:11:00.000-04:002018-08-06T12:11:07.236-04:00The Big FUFuck you - <br />
<br />
You heard me - Fuck you<br />
<br />
Fuck you and your fear<br />
<br />
Fuck you and your hate<br />
<br />
Fuck you and your fucking fuck fuck judgey judge judgement<br />
<br />
Fuck you<br />
<br />
We don't owe you anything<br />
<br />
We don't have to prove anything to you <br />
<br />
Fuck you and your condescension <br />
<br />
Fuck you and your inadequacies <br />
<br />
Fuck you and the power you think you have<br />
<br />
Fuck you<br />
<br />
You're sad<br />
and small<br />
and your insecurities make you mean<br />
<br />
Fuck you <br />
that you don't know you're mean<br />
<br />
Fuck you <br />
<br />
that you roll around and think you're a victim<br />
<br />
Fuck you<br />
<br />
you don't know what that even means<br />
<br />
Fuck you for your cruelty<br />
<br />
Fuck you<br />
<br />
the throats you stood on are getting up and taking a walk around<br />
<br />
You're nothing without those scrapping for your approval -<br />
<br />
too fucking bad - because we're opting out <br />
keep your fucking petty power<br />
we've got our ownlaney2217http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919124584503064436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7823732442981556021.post-76163694774088412922018-07-16T10:54:00.002-04:002018-07-16T10:54:17.611-04:00hegemony Here <br />
I will tell you the truth<br />
the things I hold back <br />
<br />
I long for the time <br />
when I don't owe anything<br />
when the powers that be have no hold over me<br />
<br />
but here<br />
in this space<br />
let me tell you the truth<br />
<br />
you are incompetent<br />
you don't even know how to try<br />
you think you were born better than<br />
<br />
everyone must beg<br />
and scrape and bow<br />
you get to say who gets the crumbs<br />
<br />
you are cruel<br />
<br />
and bit by bit<br />
one day<br />
this too shall pass <br />
<br />
in the meantime <br />
in my heart <br />
I say<br />
F-U<br />
<br />
laney2217http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919124584503064436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7823732442981556021.post-76902597969262098242018-06-23T08:14:00.000-04:002018-06-23T08:15:17.118-04:00ashI grieve your leaving <br />
even as I stay<br />
<br />
time is a weird thing<br />
all of being is a weird and impossible thing<br />
<br />
they might want it simple<br />
to climb down from this high high place<br />
but here we are<br />
on the peak<br />
looking out<br />
all the clocks ticking<br />
all the living and dying<br />
<br />
Pompeii still lies in asheslaney2217http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919124584503064436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7823732442981556021.post-17139572967158447892018-02-28T18:30:00.000-05:002019-04-22T20:08:43.730-04:00grief<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeBhnODJjl7H_MoTJQ9LS3aDyLsF6bUV4CMCucWyZN1iBU_xWn4CCs7G_7M0l2ulRAmcxKUngzEoqSJeBpfPrLUY6NDVnq2wHORkw3M1JXoF4rq7a0dBs35T4EoeEt1Xs8yXwhc2qqMqr0/s1600/IMG_0871.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeBhnODJjl7H_MoTJQ9LS3aDyLsF6bUV4CMCucWyZN1iBU_xWn4CCs7G_7M0l2ulRAmcxKUngzEoqSJeBpfPrLUY6NDVnq2wHORkw3M1JXoF4rq7a0dBs35T4EoeEt1Xs8yXwhc2qqMqr0/s400/IMG_0871.jpg" width="300" height="400" data-original-width="1200" data-original-height="1600" /></a></div><br />
Once it starts<br />
and if it's tied <br />
as it is <br />
to something real and weighty <br />
a thing made of concrete and iron<br />
when it's tied to that<br />
the work of it<br />
will<br />
never<br />
be <br />
finished <br />
<br />
I can tell you also<br />
<br />
my grief<br />
my grief<br />
my grief<br />
<br />
it is mine, mine, mine<br />
you cannot know it<br />
or assuage it<br />
or understand it<br />
or own any part of it<br />
<br />
I WILL NOT SHARE IT BECAUSE IT IS MINE AND IT IS ALL I HAVE NOW <br />
<br />
IT POURS OUT IN UNEXPECTED AND INAPPROPRIATE MOMENTS GUSHING ON THE FLOOR <br />
IT APPEARS AND DISTRACTS AND OCCUPIES AND PREOCCUPIES LONG AFTER IT SHOULD HAVE FADED<br />
it's there <br />
when i brush my teeth<br />
it's there <br />
when the sun sets <br />
it's there <br />
on those days in the fall<br />
it's there <br />
AND IT WILL NOT LEAVE BECAUSE IT IS NEVER DONE<br />
<br />
and I do not want it to be done<br />
(it is memory, it is love, it is real, and it is the closet i can come to sitting in that room again watching the rise and fall)<br />
<br />
You cannot know it<br />
<br />
at best <br />
maybe <br />
you can sit before it<br />
and know that it exists <br />
<br />
but it is mine<br />
it is the only thing I can truly ownlaney2217http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919124584503064436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7823732442981556021.post-72894457269440626842018-02-04T10:14:00.001-05:002018-02-04T10:14:26.609-05:00nowHow feeble your cynicism when set next to miraculous forever.<br />
<br />
Oh you fleck of dust, you mote,<br />
Awash in infinity <br />
This now that you know is just a glimmer <br />
A spark <br />
Flint on steel <br />
<br />
All we have is each other<br />
& now<br />
<br />
There is only now<br />
laney2217http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919124584503064436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7823732442981556021.post-73613959362613330732017-10-15T12:34:00.000-04:002017-10-15T12:34:01.681-04:00scriptThe pen that wrote you, wrote me<br />
<br />
laney2217http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919124584503064436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7823732442981556021.post-27553285933314439892013-12-08T10:34:00.001-05:002013-12-08T10:35:42.710-05:00***poetry<br />
art<br />
is an insurrection<br />
and don’t you forget it<br />
nothing gums up the MACHINE<br />
more than people living lives <br />
committed to the beautiful <br />
laney2217http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919124584503064436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7823732442981556021.post-14288481167701464052012-09-01T10:23:00.001-04:002012-09-01T10:23:20.338-04:00hell or some place like it ...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGStUoiiT10HTqONFHSFqwC3BCHW9rdmM4fYvlPIbGaHsfCZiy4-UTNFr95g9qwYoIP4EoPfOylDl6K9dUmoyUnUH2MPzBJwJRcRLsq42s2mAqsAcn3EgpolHKpEQ9XFn5BmCm_CkRUuqQ/s1600/Decoration_Day_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="164" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGStUoiiT10HTqONFHSFqwC3BCHW9rdmM4fYvlPIbGaHsfCZiy4-UTNFr95g9qwYoIP4EoPfOylDl6K9dUmoyUnUH2MPzBJwJRcRLsq42s2mAqsAcn3EgpolHKpEQ9XFn5BmCm_CkRUuqQ/s320/Decoration_Day_1.jpg" /></a></div>
He believed that feeling – his feelings - were of God, that they were the only truth. He believed that emotions were the voice of God. This is how he knew he was damned. He was adrift in a sea of fear, anxious that the faces around him hid a judgment of him – certain that they were good and that he was not. He feared that others might see this truth. That they might see that he was unworthy, that God had cast him out, that he was lost at sea. That some truth of who he was might leak out from the cracks. Why else would this fear and hopelessness follow him so closely if it were not God’s truth? God penned this letter to him, written in his soul. He knew that the only thing that would free him, the only thing that would remove God’s judgment, the only thing that would save him, would be if he could somehow be good enough, if he could somehow be kind enough, if he could somehow banish those thoughts from his mind that were wrong - but he could not. He didn’t have the strength to hold at bay thoughts of desire, jealousy and longing. He couldn’t bring himself to turn away from the world, to be the man that God demanded. So he knew, like few other people could know, what his eternal fate was. He was damned, eternally damned and there was no hope for it and only the old pagan gods ever offered any relief – to drink, only drinking - allowed for forgetting long enough for a sliver of happiness to creep in. laney2217http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919124584503064436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7823732442981556021.post-1533362247051896122012-08-19T12:16:00.000-04:002012-08-19T12:46:01.057-04:00closerwe are condemned as much for the friends that we keep as for the sins we commit
or for the enemies we make.laney2217http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919124584503064436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7823732442981556021.post-90022299731508788902011-11-14T11:10:00.000-05:002011-11-14T11:11:07.235-05:00Hell Mouthhe flounced about in crazy<br />like a two-dollar whore at the local holiday inn<br />on prom night<br />collecting change for Super Crack Wednesday<br /><br />He gave a f**k <br />about paydays or bank accounts,<br />investments or futures<br />he gave a f**k<br />only so far as it fed the demons<br /><br />and he was none the worse for it<br />turning gnarled and disfigured<br />riddled<br />by the gapping<br />oozing<br />wounds<br />that were the stigmata of his disease<br /><br />it was all<br />just a surface decoration <br />merely a prelude<br />for those that would be damnedlaney2217http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919124584503064436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7823732442981556021.post-39382274350234671152011-11-14T11:00:00.000-05:002011-11-14T11:01:29.041-05:00the destiny of desirea thinner blue<br />and pale bones<br />dust and a broken nephilim heart<br />maps the incidental flight path <br />against this leaf’s course<br /><br />Silver strings and Franklin’s ghost …<br /><br />E is for Emma<br />cut loose<br />and pushing us onward<br />to the destiny of desirelaney2217http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919124584503064436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7823732442981556021.post-31074217147777318042011-11-13T22:19:00.000-05:002011-11-13T22:20:30.216-05:00treesTrees<br />Thick and weighted <br />Down by crystals<br />Dressed for a wedding<br />We pass <br />under<br /><br />You are<br />Long and beautiful<br />Strong against the fear<br />And the night<br />And the cold<br /><br />Forbidden<br />out of reach<br />gone<br />baby gone<br /><br />will you<br />through this dark<br />salvage my abandon?<br /><br />Can I <br /><br />Find youlaney2217http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919124584503064436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7823732442981556021.post-50506665380078710272011-11-13T22:14:00.002-05:002011-11-13T22:15:49.647-05:00sederI write you<br /><br />you smile<br />you say wise things<br />and guide the orphans we’ve become<br /><br />thin dry tendrils become fertile laughter<br />and rings like bells<br />now more than dogs<br />greet us at the door<br />there is plenty<br />more than enough<br /><br />and we are not a burdenlaney2217http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919124584503064436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7823732442981556021.post-17707019231818236872011-11-13T22:12:00.001-05:002011-11-13T22:12:39.590-05:00a ghost storyan Esoteric ache<br />for<br />voices <br />over wine<br /><br />laughing<br />heads thrown back<br /><br />twisting <br />the spines of ancient gods<br /><br />hidden<br />in the essence of the real<br />indecent <br />and exposed<br /><br />with eyes closed<br />and faces pressed tight<br />into breathtaking instinct<br /><br />oak, leather and smoke<br />cotton warm and cool<br />lavender and amber<br /><br />I ever was <br />In love with youlaney2217http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919124584503064436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7823732442981556021.post-17435736291010098052011-09-21T08:54:00.000-04:002011-09-21T08:55:06.267-04:00blue-grassdriving down back roads<br />following under the arms of yearning pines<br />I did not know<br />I would leave you<br /><br />turning you laughed<br />calling out her name<br />so much we were alike now<br /><br />you said it was just as well<br />with our blood beneath these stones<br />that roads still led here<br /><br />and despite of all my longing<br />now I’ve had to leave you <br />even though <br />using music and rare magic<br />you once took me homelaney2217http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919124584503064436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7823732442981556021.post-2581569863200691252011-09-21T08:32:00.001-04:002011-09-21T08:32:28.590-04:00Contemptuous youthContemptuous youth gives way <br />and childlike ardor<br />Is Replaced by cool reality<br /><br />our imagined defects<br />consumed by creeping frailty <br /><br />persistent distant memory <br />Small but potent<br />Resists every effort<br />To scrub clean the past and<br />Make now the present<br /><br />Within these cathedral walls<br />A phalanx of shades pass through<br />Ever murmuring<br />Witnesses to my poverty<br />Elusive and hollow<br />Just out of reach<br />Leaving me ever unfilled<br />And longinglaney2217http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919124584503064436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7823732442981556021.post-6553968008072072082011-09-21T08:21:00.001-04:002011-09-21T08:21:41.279-04:00pen prickI am desperate to pin prick this skin<br />That holds us back<br />To let glimmer through<br />Like diamonds<br />This great wonder-fulllaney2217http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919124584503064436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7823732442981556021.post-70086197279961783482011-09-21T08:19:00.000-04:002011-09-21T08:20:22.705-04:00wirelessForgive me my intrusions<br />My excursions into your better life<br />My failures to satisfy<br />Your dreams <br />Your desires<br /><br />Forgive me<br />My lacking<br />My brutal being<br />And barbarian ways<br /><br />I am the dog that you lie down with<br />The sins you rise up with<br />Sins<br />You cannot wash clean<br /><br />You want <br />But cannot bear me<br /><br />All those strings attached<br />That tie you to an-other<br />Make sure that you<br />Cannot own me<br />That you Cannot hold me<br /><br />while I glide wireless<br />on a slipstreamlaney2217http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919124584503064436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7823732442981556021.post-15843783026024465092011-07-31T16:30:00.000-04:002011-07-31T16:31:19.262-04:00blueA smell<br />a taste like blood<br />the blue<br />aching blue in my bones<br /><br />Spoons, knives, and forks<br />all in the proper order<br />so important<br />not any more<br /><br />Her voice<br />draining into my ear<br />throbbing into my jaw<br />without sleep<br />with lead-lined walls<br />and spikes that impale<br /> the hearts of doves-<br />to make a fortress<br />to keep you safe<br />and my illness inlaney2217http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919124584503064436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7823732442981556021.post-19221861222783647882011-07-31T16:27:00.002-04:002011-07-31T16:30:07.050-04:00awakenedWithin infinity those monkeys have <br /> awakened me<br /><br /> and no doubt, will deconstruct me<br /> <br /><br /><br />As if under anesthesia, I will go to sleep <br />knowing nothing but the next moment. And, <br />as it is with Shakespeare’s Lear, in that <br />infinity, is it not inevitable that I will again <br /> awake?laney2217http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919124584503064436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7823732442981556021.post-19329780323533571342011-07-31T16:27:00.001-04:002011-07-31T16:27:18.032-04:00in exilerational secrets are kept phallic and nude<br />lacking in language<br />objectification conveys a pornographic<br /> image history<br />its characters abandon individuality and come<br /> to share themselves in an expression of longing that can resemble prayer<br /><br /><br />allow us to inhabit it, those of us in exile<br />prisoners of displacement<br />take the time<br />outside the single self<br />to incarnate a brilliant lexicon<br />an iconography of glorious strangenesslaney2217http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919124584503064436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7823732442981556021.post-74365059366103453742011-07-26T09:55:00.000-04:002011-07-26T10:01:16.094-04:00Love Poems for Persons [yet] UnknownTell me of your loss<br />Tell me of your fear<br />There are many deaths<br />How many will you choose?<br /><br />I propose<br />A living while we can<br /><br />Let me breathe your skin<br />And show you what I mean<br /><br />Let me <br />Speak<br />Let me <br />love<br />Let me <br />Trouble you no more<br />Let me<br />Pass by<br />Let me<br />Know – <br />Let me<br />no<br />Let me<br />Alone<br /><br />Words fail me<br /><br />This liminal state<br />a Romantic Other life<br />So not interested <br />but<br />Traveling <br />in circles<br />Re-<br />Envisioning<br />Re-<br />Entering<br />Re-<br />Moving<br />Re-<br />Doing<br /><br />RE-IMAGINING <br /><br /><br />Secret<br />travels<br />brown<br />not green<br />shifting fantasies<br />rain<br /><br />does she<br />greet you<br />with<br />enthusiasm?<br /><br />Perpetually<br />Playing<br />Plying<br />Dancing<br /><br />Reminding<br /><br />like<br />A Razor<br />cutting<br />It leaves a scar<br />Every surgery<br />a death<br /><br />A ghost in the heart<br />Waiting to be made flesh<br /><br />Laughter is the only medicine<br /><br />And if I tell you<br />How can we move<br />Forward<br />Into<br />A future<br />Or a past<br />If I tell you really<br />Everything<br />Then there are no<br />Secrets<br />and<br />I am not<br />The Other<br /><br />Beloved<br /><br />I am -- I am<br />How can you not know me?<br />Beloved<br />I am – all that I am<br />How can you not know me? <br />Fair forms beget fair forms<br />And the tongue of love<br />Still speaks those names which cannot be spoken<br />Beloved<br />Beloved<br />Beloved<br />I will not long be with you<br /><br />Be with me while I lingerlaney2217http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919124584503064436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7823732442981556021.post-70956131517398808172011-06-27T07:26:00.001-04:002011-06-27T07:26:49.062-04:00girl on a trainsoft and dark <br />looking through<br />flashing by<br />some point she cannot grasp<br />pretending, <br /> that she does not know<br /> all she has swept together<br />in dis-guise<br />and hoping to be mis-taken<br /><br />so much more in hard pink<br /><br />she overflows<br />beyond containment<br />lost in a dream <br />of flying without wingslaney2217http://www.blogger.com/profile/10919124584503064436noreply@blogger.com0